I woke up to my head pounding and a huge crick in my neck. Dazed, I slowly tried to get my face unglued from drool the floor, open my eyes and focus. Ew..I feel like shit. Gradually sitting up, I realized I had not blacked out on the dance floor; I was back at the monastery, at the bottom of the staircase. Good Lord! How long have I been like this? Days? Weeks? Has someone even tried to look for me? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. Locating my cell a couple feet away, I realized it had only been one night, and began to calm down.
I spotted the culprit of my plummet headfirst down the staircase-- my beautifully broken stiletto still rested on one of the stairs. Damn me for loving you too much, I’m sorry it had to end this way my beloved Gianmarco Lorenzi’s. I had really loved those heels…guess I should go check out my face. Using the banister for support I gently stood up and made my way to the bathroom. The non-goddess-like-bathroom-because-this-is-not-a-dream-anymore. I was horrified to walk into the terribly lit lavatory with its peeling wallpaper and dank smell. Thank god I would be remodeling it soon, but first, I needed to take a look in the mostly intact mirror.
Oh, you have a job on your hands with this one! My forehead was dark yellowish purple on the side that must have hit the banister, and my right eye was black. Not to mention all the tiny scratches all over my body from tumbling down the stairs. Ugh, of course I figure out what to do with my life AND my company and now I can’t leave the house. I CANNOT leave the house looking like this. As horrible as I looked I knew my Chanel makeup would hide almost all of the bruising. The scratches, however, would just have to be covered up.
What I need is a nice hot soak in the tub to help the aching in my neck go away. It might help the bruises fade too! So I ran hot water in the slightly questionable ceramic tub with rusted clawed feet. Rummaging around the cabinet I found some lavender bath salts to help disguise the metallic smell of the water. While I let my bones attempt to return to their normal state, I began to think about Alex.
Maybe I should just talk with him, and try to understand him a little better, who knows, maybe we could even be civil. There has to be logical reasoning behind what happened between us. None of it makes sense…to just throw seven years out like yesterdays stale Chinese? Not someone with a heart. What happened between Alex and I for seven years could not transform to something he didn’t want overnight. I could find some closure if I just ask him…even if it would break my heart all over again, at least I would know. I mean, who knows? I could meet a lovely British man who could somehow manage to sweep me off my feet, right? As I got out of the tub the crisis of “what should I wear!!” came into effect.
The closet will have something beautiful and concealing that I can wear, I’m sure…wait, damn it! This is not a dream anymore…god, hopefully I brought a sweater. I hobbled down the hall to my no-longer-glamorous-but-again-shabby room and rooted through my bad for a sweater. Aha! I’m in luck! After finding a vintage Armani long sleeved silk shirt and some high-waisted black pants that I bought in France, I went back to the bathroom to fix my face. Blending concealer onto the bruises I began give myself a pep talk.
You can do this, Stella. You can pull your life back together; especially at G.M. Where have you been these past few months? Mourning Alex like he died, agonizing over Penelope and handing off all the work at G.M. that you used to love doing yourself? Pathetic. How are you going to restart your life? By going after your dreams. It doesn’t matter that G.M. started with Alex, you’re a big girl, now get behind the damn wheel to your life and steer! Where should you start remodeling your life first? G.M needs its CEO back, and YOU need your life back. You can’t keep letting Alex and Penelope get the best of you. Only YOU can make YOU happy. Now let’s do this!
I finished applying my lipstick and took one last look in the mirror. The bruises and black eye were barely noticeable. After a sobering self talk I was ready to make some changes. Now I just needed to grab a pair of heels and figure out what I was about to do. So I made a list to help stay focused~
GOALS:
1. Figure out what was going on at G.M.
2. Find Alex, maybe talk to him?
3. Begin remodeling the monastery
Tapping my pen I decided to add one more thing for good measure so I wouldn’t go insane from being so calm.
4. Shopping if there’s free time
That sounded much better. Now it was time to call in the big guns, so I whipped out my cell and called her…
“Hey!! Cassie? Sweetie, it has been too long and I would love to take you to lunch! You free at noon? Okay, see you then!”
I made my way towards the garage, deciding to kill time by going by the office before meeting Cassie for lunch. On the ride into town I appreciated the scenic route even though it was winter. I do wish Christmas didn’t still remind me of Alex though…that’s still depressing even if I could become friends with him again. I pulled up in front of G.M, got out of my Audi, and walked towards the revolving front door. Why did I not just get a doorman like a regular businesswoman? I was not thinking of heels when I contracted this building at all. Revolving doors are so awkward in stilettos. Escaping from the rotating doors, I nearly trampled Tom, who was on his way to the lab.
“Tom! Oh my, I’m so sorry, didn’t mean to almost make you road kill!” He looked confused to see me and didn’t laugh at my joke, that wasn’t a good sign.
“Stella, what’re you doing here so early? Is something wrong?” He asked with genuine concern that it made me feel guiltier for not being in meetings as much as I should have been.
“Oh, no no, nothing is wrong—just trying to get reacquainted with the most recent research and lab reports today. I was also gunning for a staff meeting with everyone to discuss the goals for the company. Does that sound doable to you?” I was hoping he wouldn’t be totally thrown by my completely different attitude. I needed to figure out how to make not only myself happy, but also others in the same situation.
“Well, Stella, there has been a lot of different experiments going on and it would take more than just one meeting to cover all of the basic progress in my department—let alone the whole company…”
“Yes, I know it will take more than one meeting, Tom. I just feel like my absence these past few months have debilitated me. I want to get back in there and help push the company forward…just like before…”
“Alex? Yeah, he hasn’t been here as much either since you all split. I’m sorry to be so blunt about it but you weren’t the only one having a rough time in your life. My spouse left me too! She said she wanted to be with someone who was more exciting. But I couldn’t just NOT come work like you did, Stella. I know you’re our boss, and I might be out of line, but a lot of people here care about you. When you just stopped coming to meetings and participating in the developmental experiments…a lot of people lost respect for you.” Tom sighed with pent up frustration and shuffled his feet… we had been so close and it caught me off guard how hurt he was. His words stung though. They were all true statements. G.M. was my family, I had friends here and knew everyone on a fist name basis…and I just turned my back on them. How selfish…that wasn’t who I used to be…or who I wanted to be.
“I’m sorry Stella, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that—,“ Tom began, but I interrupted him, “No Tom, I’m glad you told me. I deserved every bit of that and more! I’m so sorry to here about Karen…that’s horrible. The whole reason I was coming in today was because I realized how awful I’ve been. Not just as the CEO, but also as a friend to team that I value so much. I want to mend my ways and I want to get back on my feet with this company. Can you help me?”
Tom looked at me in a thoughtful way and said, “I can—but you have to promise you won’t leave us stranded again, okay? We were lost in the lab without you!”
Glowing with a kind of victory, I thanked Tom and rushed to my office to start getting things set up for the meeting later. Cassie would definitely be getting an earful at lunch!
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