Chapter 3: Katherine

. . .

Later I woke up in my bed in the monastery. Sunlight was streaming through the stained glass windows. It was quite a fabulous scene, almost like being in a movie. I looked at my iPhone and realized that I only had 40 minutes to get ready. As I rushed around to find my work appropriate stilettos, I tried to remember last night. Things seemed a little fuzzy. Different scenes swirled in my head, a blur of colors. As I scurried into the bathroom hoping that I had time fix this hot mess that was my hair and my make-up, I started to remember some things. What happened last night?

I remembered walking into the monastery and trying to be upbeat about starting over. I was a bundle of emotions. One part of me was angry at Alex for disrupting what was our perfect life together. Another part of me was angry at that bitch, who knows absolutely nothing about Alex, or what she did to our life. Now thinking about everything that happened, I’m suddenly, irrationally furious. I know that being this angry won’t help remember last night, but it certainly helped to remember my anger. It helped me to remember my heartbreak.

Every time that I hear the name Alex, my heart drops and I’m suddenly sick at my stomach. I can’t even read the name Alex. Oh, yeah. It suddenly hit me. I got online, and in some sort of masochistic fit, stalked Alex. I remembered logging onto Facebook and seeing his simpering, cowardly face looking back at me. I remembered seeing his relationship status as being “engaged” to HER. She could have been beautiful, if she wasn’t some home-wrecker.

I realize that I have spent too long bitterly reminiscing about what didn’t happen. As I ran through the monastery still in search of those stilettos, I tripped over one of them. For some odd reason one of the heels was broken. I don’t remember tripping and breaking my heel. I would have remembered that. I had to start a whole new shoe collection because for some stupid emotionally driven reason, I left my entire collection in the closet when I moved out. In retrospect that was probably a little rash, but I don’t know if I could bear to wear them anymore. There was my favorite red pair that I wore with Alex on our first New Years party as Stella. I wondered if Penelope, that breeder, wore them when they went on dates. I wonder if she’s even woman enough to wear my heels. I highly doubt it. If she does attempt to even fill my shoes, how did Alex explain why he had the most exquisite collection of heels in his house, suddenly straight bachelor that he is.

Luckily I brought a spare set of heels. I ran to my Armani bag and snatched them and threw them on as quickly as I could. Luckily, being my own boss, I can be fashionably late to a meeting. I really do need to control this irrational anger, but it keeps consuming me. I really needed some coffee if I was going to make it through this day. I got into my car and zoomed off to the nearest Starbucks. I hoped with all my might that I wouldn’t run into the “happy family” while I was rushing for my grande mocha, soy, no foam, light whip. I might actually throw my drink at them. I rushed in a whirlwind of Chanel perfume and hopefully perfect eyeliner and the cute barista already had my drink in hand! I should have probably hired an intern. Maybe she could be some hot mess that I could make over like in, “The Devil Wears Prada.”

As I ran back to car, I hear the church bells start ringing. This suddenly reminds me of that creepy crucifix! I need to do something with that ASAP. As I hear the bells tolling it reminds me of all the Christmases we had. It was the only time of year that when I heard church bells, it didn’t freak me out. Oh how I loved the scent of cinnamon wafting through the air. I loved going shopping and seeing our breath fog up the windows as we lusted for expensive treasures in the window shops. I remembered how giddy everything seemed. I remembered all these visions of Christmas and times past, but for some odd reason, last night still seemed foggy. It was a little bit unsettling.

As I drove closer to work something made me turn my head. After I did, I immediately regretted it. Of course, it was the happy couple. They were holding hands and strolling along the boulevard as if they didn’t have a care in the world. That heifer was wearing my favorite pair of thigh high boots. I couldn’t help it, but I looked and saw what I didn’t want to see. She was clearly, very pregnant. All of Alex’s dreams seemed to have come true. Her face was healthy and glowing with pride. Her cheeks were tinged with pink. She was everything that I had ever wanted to me. Maybe that is why I hated her so much. She had everything that I ever wanted. She had everything that I had been working so hard for. After seeing them I had this certain, crushing feeling that everything was really over. Every last drop of hope that I had childishly clung to was now gone. Alex was very clearly over. He had moved on. I was stuck. It just didn’t make much sense to me.

I finally made my way to work. My office building was a sky-scraper to behold. I worked on the top floor even though I’m scared of heights. From the top, it feels like I can control everything around me, even if I can’t control my life. In the elevator, I tried to collect myself. My employees couldn’t see me like this. They couldn’t know that their leader’s life is falling apart before their eyes. I had to be strong. I had to be the fierce, powerful woman that I considered myself to be. I looked at the posters around me advocating strong people. I remembered to take courage from the individuals around the world that I’m attempting to help. I decided then and there that I was going to take one day at a time. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. When the elevator neared the top floor, I braced myself. I straightened my power suit and hoped that my wig was on straight and readied myself to face the world this morning.

The meeting was success, a blur mostly but a success. I couldn’t rush from my office quickly enough. I wanted to head back to my hidey hole. When I reached the ground floor the valet was already ready there, the engine was purring and read to whisk me away. It seemed like I was never going to make it back to the monastery. It was like time slowed down, trying to stop me from getting to my final destination of the day. As I drove up, I saw the steeple and it reminded me of that overly large and super creepy crucifix. Something had to be done about that thing! I knew when I bought the place that it was a monastery, but it housed one of the biggest crucifixes I have ever seen. Maybe I could sell it to a museum or something. I reluctantly turn off the ignition and walk in, knowing how much work I had to do. First on the agenda, was to somehow, all by myself, take down that crucifix.

When I walked into the monastery and look up, I realize that the crucifix is gone. Also, I notice that the atmosphere has greatly changed. It’s nothing like I remembered. I had remembered it as being cold, creepy and almost unwelcoming. Now everything had changed. I must have missed all of this in my rush to get ready for that meeting. I saw that a lot of my clothes were scattered all over the stone floor. The bed was large and had the most decadent bed clothes. They were something that Alex would never had let me have. The floor under the bed had the most sumptuous rug man or woman has ever seen. This place was now alarming warm and cozy. It felt as if I should have started a fire, as if I was living in some ancient castle. I looked around saw the couch that Alex and I bought together. Once again, my stomach dropped.

I looked around completely confused. What happened? When did everything change? It seemed as if everything had changed around me. Like life didn’t wait on me. Did someone or something do this? Did a fabulous, fierce ghosts redecorate? Did I miss something? Did something happen to me? Did I have that thing were you forget who you are and everything around you? Did I wake up to a new life, because the break-up was so mentally scarring I couldn’t handle it and now I’ve woken up someone else?!

Then I realized exactly how stupid I was being. I clearly remembered who I was. I remember the break-up all to clearly. I just don’t remember everything from last night. I keep going back to the fact that I checked Facebook and looked at Alex’s page like an idiot. Then I remember getting irrationally angry, but now, from this side having seen Penelope doesn’t seem so irrational. Thinking about seeing her makes me think that maybe I should be more proactive. Maybe I should stop whining and do something about it. How do I ruin Alex’s life like he did mine?

They haven’t written a book called, “ How to Ruin Your Ex’s Life” have they? Well some angry ex should have. Someone who has been cruelly wronged should have. It suddenly hit, me, their relationship was not so sudden! The break up made more sense in my angry ravings. He cheated on me! How else was he supposed to have had any type or relationship with that woman! That’s why he got so distant. That explains completely why he started to act so strange. He was super secretive. Now it is an absolute must that I teach him some sort of lesson. After all, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” He ‘aint seen nothin’ yet.

I ran to get my MacBook. If anything, I was good at planning. I needed to write down my ideas. My ideas on Alex’s demise. I was bitter, I was angry, and now I realized I had played the fool. I wasn’t going to play the fool anymore. Alex had another thing coming. That should have been my baby, our baby. That should have been our happy life. I should have had a glow about me. We should have been strolling down the street and picking out bassinets. We should have had it all. As I was going trough my bitter tirade, I thought nothing better than to blast some Adele. I always have to have a soundtrack that fits my moods. That girl knew what it was like to have her heart broken, but in the end she always gets the last word and this time, I would have the last word.